No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
