New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
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So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
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that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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