i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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