Sponge bath it is.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
