no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
