i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
