Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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