Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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