Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
do nipples grow back?
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