the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize