sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
