Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
