and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
