this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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