I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
