whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Found your dick twin last night
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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