problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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