...so i touched it.
there's paper in my vomit.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
