i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
A bitchslap is in order.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
