Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
