I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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