I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
