She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
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Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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