These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
