Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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