you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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