Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
