I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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