This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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