if i can run in heels then i can drive
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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