I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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