i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
