did you get engaged???
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
