how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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