"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
