DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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