There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
