he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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