lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
