Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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