We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
