she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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