definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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