I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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