fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
