i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
