I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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