Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
