Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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