She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Thank you for not boning my boss.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
