$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
