Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
