I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can you bring me the toilet please
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
