we're blogging at a bar
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
