So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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