I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize