The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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