I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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