When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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