dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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